


Whump-tober

by Rangergirl3



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Team as Family, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-07-29 14:10:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16265831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rangergirl3/pseuds/Rangergirl3
Summary: So...I heard it's not only Keith Month, but also Whumptober.





	1. Hatred

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, readers! Long time no see. :-)
> 
> Some of you may recognize this first chapter as something I've posted before (it is also Chapter 9 of the Whump Bingo collection I wrote some time ago). Several of you expressed interest in follow-up chapters to this particular whump scenario, so...I'm going to try and include at least some follow-up to it in this month's collection of general Keith Whump.
> 
> Some (or many) of the whump prompts may be stand-alones, but I'll be sure include a small note at the beginning of each prompt to avoid confusion.
> 
> Update: Oh, geez, real life is crazy. Just for now, this work is on hold. I may come back to it in the future, but don't worry - there's going to be plenty of Keith Whump coming soon. Be on the lookout for my 'Bad Things Happen' Bingo card prompts soon.

Keith chanced a quick glance to his right, and then to his left. 

Lance and Hunk were on his right, and Pidge was on his left. They were only just coming back to consciousness, but Pidge still lay limp and motionless on the floor, just out of his reach. He’d tried whispering her name a few times, but she hadn’t answered him.

_Right. First things first. If he could reach her, he could check her pulse, see if her breathing was steady._

He tried to readjust his position, but it was pointless. 

_Well, it looked like he was going to stay kneeling like this, then._

He fidgeted restlessly with the cuffs holding his wrists behind his back, but those were secured tightly as well.

_Dammit._

A huge clawed hand slammed into the wall right next to his head, and Keith instinctively flinched away from the loud noise. Then someone close to his face let out a harsh laugh, and another fist slammed into the wall on the other side of his head.

Keith tried not to flinch a second time. He kept his eyes fixed on the floor, trying to regulate his breathing, wishing he could keep his heart from speeding up. 

_Danger, danger, danger, bad bad bad, they’re looking at you, they’re looking at you now -_

A harsh voice, one that grated and caused the hairs on the back of Keith’s neck to rise up in fear.

“Are you trying to _escape_ , Paladin?”

Keith didn’t look up, but he shook his head.

There was a snarl at that. 

“Answer me, _boy_.”

As one fist came away from the wall, Keith tried not to let his voice quaver, tried to appear calm and composed and controlled, like Kolivan had told him to do, like Shiro would do if he were in this situation.

He answered, keeping his voice pitched low.

“No.”

Huge, clawed, purple fingers grabbed hold of his chin, forced him to look up at the sneering guard. The lazy power in that movement was almost as frightening as the expression on the guard’s face.

_Purple skin, yellow eyes, sharp fangs, an ugly sneer -_

“What was that, _Paladin_?”

As he spoke, the guard’s grip went tighter, pulling Keith’s face forwards until the Red Paladin was forced to kneel fully upright. His injured leg ached, sweat ran down his back, and he swallowed twice before answering.

“N-no - I’m - I’m not - t-trying - to escape.”

The guard let out another grunt, just as one of the others came into the cell. 

“Did you hear?” he said, and something in the tone made Keith’s stomach lurch in trepidation. “One of these four Paladins is a half-breed - and a _Blade_.”

The guard gripping Keith’s face turned back towards the other Paladins, his face twisting into an even uglier expression of hatred as his eyes flicked up and down the line of prisoners.

“ _Really_?” he asked his comrade. “Which one is i-”

“It’s me,” Keith said, before any of the others could. “I - I’m-”

The tension in the room immediately spiked, and Keith tried to remain still, to stay calm, but he couldn’t keep his heart rate from rising, couldn’t keep his muscles from beginning to tremble.

The sharp claw tips dug deeper into his skin, and he winced, because it hurt, and he tried not to show his fear, but then the one gripping him by the face spoke.

“Let me see your teeth.”

Fingers poked at his face, harsh and cruel, and Keith automatically clenched his jaws tight shut and tried to turn his head away, but the grip around his face tightened, pulling his chin up again, and the voice went cold and harsh. 

“ _Now_. Or I’ll start the inquiries by taking the Blue Paladin to the Druids.”

Keith’s heart almost stopped in fear, and he chanced a quick look back up at the guard who had spoken.

It was no idle threat.

He’d meant it.

Keith couldn’t keep from trying to look over towards Lance then, but the grip on his chin only went tighter, and he had to swallow back a sound of discomfort.

From somewhere nearby, the Blue Paladin said something acerbic in Spanish, but his voice was shaking, and the quavering attempt at nonchalance only made the guards laugh. 

_No, Lance, stop, don’t say anything else, please, they’ll hurt you -_

Keith swallowed again as he looked down at the floor, and then, steeling himself for what would follow, he took in a deep breath and exhaled it out through his mouth.

He tried not to focus on what was happening, but already clawed hands were _forcing_ his jaws further apart, and then fingers were poking at his front canines. He hissed out a harsh breath and tried to recoil from them automatically, but the grip on his face didn’t lessen at all. Instead, another clawed hand gripped Keith’s hair, pulling his head up and to one side, so his throat was completely exposed as well. The _only_ good thing was that from here, Keith could see Pidge stirring, so he knew she was alive.

His relief didn’t last long. 

Once the smallest Paladin realized what was going on, she tried to sit up, but he shot her a look that said ‘Pidge, _please_ , stay _out_ of this,’ and she subsided with a glare that might have killed a lesser man.

Oh, he was definitely going to hear about _that_ on the Castleship later.

_If…there was…a later…_

Even as that thought crossed his mind, the soldier forced his head to move again, and it hurt enough where Keith almost tried to pull away, but to do so would make the guards think he was lying, or a coward, so he stayed as he was, still and silent, despite the anger burning in his chest, because this was the only way he could help his friends right now - keep the guard’s attention, draw it away from the others.

“No obvious signs of Galra lineage,” one of the sentries said. “Maybe he was lying.”

Inside Keith’s chest, his heart pounded and leapt in fear. He didn’t dare try to say anything, in case they took it as a sign of resistance, but he did raise his eyes to look up and stare evenly at the guard who had spoken. 

Then more claws raked across his skin, and a light was brought right next to his face, shone straight into his eyes. Under _any_ other circumstances, Keith would have growled or even bitten at the guards, but the other Paladins were in danger if he didn’t comply, so he tried to keep his breathing even, steady, controlled. 

_Calm. Remain calm. Don’t give them a reason to hurt the others._

“Look there!”

“His irises -”

“Half-blood, for certain -”

“-well, at least part-Galra - can’t say for certain if he’s _half_ -”

“He’s a small one,” the first guard said. “I can’t see how the Blade ever thought he could accomplish anything in their ranks.”

Keith felt the rage build inside him, but he told himself that this was not the time to take action. He wished he could twist his shoulders, pull his face away from the grips holding him, but the chains around his wrists were already strained and stretched as far as they would go, and it didn’t seem like these guards were going to stop examining his eyes or his teeth any time soon. 

_It’s okay. It’s not great, but it’s okay. I can make it through this. I can do this._

Keith knew he had to stay quiet, he had to keep still, but he _wished_ he could wrench away from these hands, get _away_ from these voices and bright lights, but now _more_ hands were pushing him around, like they wanted to test his strength, and he didn’t like it, it was too much, it felt like they were examining him as if he were a dog at a show, and he had to clench his hands into fists to keep himself from lashing out at them.

_Stay calm, stay calm, it’s all right, I can get through this, it won’t be much longer now._

_Finally_ the hands touching him withdrew, and Keith was able to close his mouth again and swallow, and he tried not to show how tense he still was, because all of the guards were still standing _far_ too close to him for comfort.

“Maybe he was just the bait for traps,” one of them said. The other guards laughed, and Keith had to swallow back a retort, because saying anything was only going to make this worse, but he never had been very good at concealing what he was feeling, and some of it must have been conveyed through his eyes when he looked back up at them, because the guy with the commander’s insignia on his sleeve stepped forwards and struck Keith across the face.

“Don’t look at us like _that_ , you scum,” he said, and so Keith forced himself to look down at the floor, and to close his eyes, because if it seemed he was fighting back, the guards might hurt the other Paladins, and that wasn’t what Keith wanted, not at all, never, _never_.

“S-sorry,” he rasped, but it didn’t seem the commander accepted apologies, because he struck Keith again, this time on the other side of his face.

“Don’t speak unless you are spoken to,” another guard snarled, and Keith tried to make his vision stop blurring by blinking once or twice, wishing his eyes would stop tearing up, because it would make him appear weak to the Galra, and he had to be strong now, he had to be strong and endure this because if he didn’t, the guards would hurt the others, and Keith didn’t want that, he _didn’t_.

_I can do this, I make it through this, I’ve been through worse_ -

Someone kicked him in the small of his back, and he fell forwards with a surprised grunt that turned into a gasp of pain as his wrist restraints halted his progress. His shoulders and back bore his entire weight, and it hurt more than he would have thought possible. 

But before he could try to bring his knees under him to regain some semblance of balance, the guards were on him.

The next few moments blurred together, but Keith was just aware enough to feel getting struck across the face a few more times, and then getting kicked in the stomach, and _then_ throwing up until there wasn’t anything left to throw up.

_Egh, that was disgusting._

Thankfully most of the other details…just sort of blurred together. Dim shapes, half-heard words as the blows fell.

\- blood traitor - rebel scum - worthless half-breed -

_Yeah, sure, yep, whatever, you_ **_jackasses._ **

* * *

_He hates this, he hates not fighting back, but he has to appear docile, or else the others will get hurt, and he doesn’t want that to happen, never. He can handle this._

_He's done it before, he can do it again._

Snarls, curses, more kicking.

_Broken rib, maybe more than one, oh, shit, oh, god, it hurts, it_ **_really_ ** _hurts -_

“Leave him _alone_!” someone nearby screams. He’s not sure who, maybe it was just his imagination, because his mind is disconnecting from his body. There’s too much going on, it hurts too much and it's all he can do not to let them see how much this is hurting him.

What seems an endless time later, two of the guards grip him by the shoulders, and within seconds they’ve uncuffed his wrists from the wall and dragged him away from the other Paladins.

As the guards drag him across the floor, Keith manages to glance back over his shoulder to where Katie, Lance, and Hunk are, and he’s relived to see that there’s only one guard standing next to them now. 

_Okay, that’s good, that means most of the enemy’s attention is fixed on him - so maybe the others will be okay -_

One of the guards sees Keith looking back at his friends and laughs at him.

“Worry about yourself _, half-breed_ ,” he sneers, reaching up with his free hand and gripping a handful of Keith’s hair, forcing the Red Paladin to turn his head so he can see what awaits him on the other side of the room. 

When they get there, the guards shove him down onto his knees, and Keith ends up facing the others across what seems an insurmountable distance as the guards cuff his wrists to two pillars near the back of the room.

_Oh, hell._

Keith can’t help but look back towards his friends, and hopes that maybe they won’t think less of him when he starts screaming, because he’s seen enough movies to figure out what’s going to happen next.

_Given the situation, it’s only a matter of time before this starts to get ugly._

Keith tries to gather himself before it begins, but he has no time before a tearing, searing pain burns a line across his back and shoulders, and a hum of electricity reaches his ears barely a second later.

He clenches his fists, but he doesn’t cry out. Not yet. Instead, he closes his eyes and tries to keep his breathing even, steady, as calm as possible, but his heart is pounding inside his chest and the pain is _awful_ , lingering in his muscles long after the initial shock of the blow wears off.

Pidge is shouting something to him, but Keith can’t hear her. 

_It’s not like he’s trying to tune her voice out, it’s just his ears feel as if they’ve been muffled, like someone’s covered them up so all sound is muted._  

He _wants_ to keep looking at her, at his friends, but he’s _scared_ , and he can’t show them that he’s scared, because if he does, it’ll only make it harder on the other Paladins.

_Maybe if he doesn’t look back at his friends, they won’t know how scared he is - he wants to keep them from seeing that for as long as possible -_

It goes against _every_ instinct he has, but Keith grinds his teeth together and looks down at the floor in front of his knees, so that he can try and prevent his friends from seeing just how much pain he’s already in from that first lash of the whip.

_He hurts, he hurts all over, and he knows it’s only going to get harder to hide the pain, but he_ **_has_ ** _to project strength, he_ **_has_ ** _to project calm, because otherwise his friends might react, and these jackasses will turn their attention towards his friends, and that_ **_isn’t_ ** _an acceptable outcome._

He tries to concentrate on what Coran had told him just before the comms went out.

_Survive. At all costs,_ **_survive._ **

Keith does his best to keep any expression from crossing his face, even though there’s blood starting to run down his back, even though the wound aches and burns, and even though he already feels dizzy and sick from the pain of this single strike of the whip.

_Footsteps, circling around behind him._

Keith doesn’t hear the sounds so much as he _feels_ the separate impacts through the stone floor, but he knows this isn’t going to go well for him as claws, long and sharp and strong, grip his chin and lift his head again so that he’s looking up at the Galra commander.

_I survived the Trials, I can survive this too, I just have to keep breathing - that’s all I have to do -_

A voice - harsh, cold, contemptuous. The commander, asking if he will serve the Galra Empire.

Keith barely holds back the growled insults he wants to give in reply. If he’d been alone, he would have fought back tooth and nail and even now, he would have fired off every smart-ass response he could think of. 

_But his team is here with him, and he won’t put them in any more danger. He_ **_won’t._ **

So instead, he only shakes his head from side to side in answer. 

‘ _No_.’

A snarl of rage, followed by a sudden tearing, ripping pain that flashes across his collarbone and right shoulder so quickly that Keith can’t help but cry out in pain again as the Galra commander steps away from him, an ugly smile on his face. The tips of the claws on one hand are now shining with a red tint as they come closer to his face and then -

Keith only realizes the commander struck him across the face with enough force to make him fall when he’s already hanging from the wrist restraints like a broken doll.

_From across the room, he thinks he hears Lance start to swear, but he’s not sure if he is imagining it or not, because the room is tilted to one side and everything just keeps_ **_spinning._ **

If his wrists weren’t tied to the pillars, Keith knows he would have fallen onto the ground. As it is, his arms and back take his full weight yet again, and his already tense muscles scream in agonized protest.

_Stars, that_ ** _hurts_** _-_  

With a great effort, Keith levers himself back into a semi-upright kneeling position just as another tearing, searing pain burns into his skin, this time arching down his left side and curling around over his abdomen, and this time, it’s so much _worse_.

_Oh, god, oh, shit, it hurts and it just keeps_ **_hurting_ ,** _it’s like being electrocuted but worse, it’s so much worse, because when the whip hits his skin, the pain builds upon what’s already there, and it’s already so much more than he can endure in silence -_

Keith tries and fails to hold back another short, gasping cry of pain and wishes that he _wasn’t_ trembling with fear, or that at least he could _make_ his mind leave until its all over, but there’s no chance of that, otherwise he’d just do it, and be done.

_Every nerve ending in his body is on_ **_fire._ **

After the third strike, the pain continues to pulse through Keith’s body, making his muscles spasm time and time again, in ever-increasing waves of agony.

_The pain is horrible._

The lash strikes again, and with an effort, Keith grinds his teeth tight shut once more and just barely manages to half-swallow another scream of pain.

_Stop thinking about the pain, it’s fine, it’s_ **_fine_ ,** _I’ve been through worse, I can do this, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s-_

But over time, it all bleeds together, and he loses count of how many times the whip has struck him. He tries to keep his head down, tries to stay as still as he can, but it’s getting more and more difficult. His bad leg is beginning to cramp, and if it were possible he would have fallen back down onto the ground by now.

_He wants to lie down, he wants to rest, he wants this to be over but it’s_ **_never_ ** _going to end-_

The commander says nothing, just smiles, smiles, smiles down at him as the whip continues to strike. 

It’s the loudest sound in the entire room until Keith finally starts to scream.

_He can’t stop screaming._

* * *

Eventually, Keith’s voice cracks and fails.

He’s almost glad when it does, because at first, he thought the Galra might ask him questions, and he would break and tell them _anything_ , just to make the pain cease for a moment, but they don’t even ask him anything. 

They don’t even try to find out where the Castle is.

They just want to hear him scream, and when he’s not able to do that anymore, they just…keep hurting him.

_Apparently that’s what it’s all about - hurting him, making him scream and cry. It’s a test, to see how long he can survive this._

_But he doesn’t know if he can, he doesn’t know,_ **_he doesn’t know_ ** _and no one will tell him because he’s a hybrid, he’s an insult to their race and they want him to suffer as much as possible before he dies…_

Pain, fear, blood, tears, screams.

It just goes on, and on, and on.

* * *

The next time Keith remembers to check in, his wrists are tied together in front of him to a single post on the far side of the room. He’s still on his knees, and he’s clutching onto the post as if he’s drowning and it’s a life raft, and he can’t see out of one eye.

_What’s going on?_

_Is it over?_

He thinks about trying to adjust his position, but he’s not even sure if he has both eyes anymore, and his body _hurts_. It hurts, it hurts, it _hurts_ , and he tries not to start crying again, tries to keep from making any sound, but it’s hard not to because the pain is all he can think about.

Voices nearby, ones he dimly recognizes, but these are voices he knows he doesn’t like. They’re not safe voices, not good, not kind, and _definitely_ not the ones he wants to hear. He can only barely make out the words.

_Something about…a…bet…?_

“- _Stars_ , this one’s hard to kill-”

But then he hears other voices, different voices, ones that remind him of warmth, of home, of safety, but they don’t sound…right…something…something isn’t…right… but he still can’t remember what’s wrong until the bad voices come closer, laughing, saying something -

_\- half-breed - mutt - diseased -_

Then the toe of a boot catches him hard in the abdomen, and Keith folds around it, retching miserably. If there were anything left in his stomach, he would have thrown it up right then. 

A snort of disgust, followed by another kick, this one to the small of his back. 

Keith wishes he could do something, fight back, _bite_ , _anything_ , but he can’t. His entire body aches and burns and throbs and it’s too much, it’s too much and when he tries to catch his breath the muscles pull and wrench in spasms and _he can’t move_ as fire sears through his veins. 

That’s why he blacked out.

It hurt too much to stay awake.

He can only hope he passes out again before it gets worse.

But he doesn’t.

Above his head, someone hisses in disgust as they hit him again, and Keith can’t help trying to avoid the blows, but the sentries hit him unevenly, without a predicable rhythm or timing to the beating.

It’s part of the torture, because he can’t prepare himself for the pain this way, he can’t do anything except wait for the inevitable pain they cause him and try to endure it, again, and again, and again.

Although Keith still can’t see out of one eye, some of his hearing has returned. Somewhere nearby, Lance is still swearing in Spanish, Hunk sounds like he’s throwing up, and Katie’s cursing and threatening the guards with death and dismemberment once she gets free.

He wants to look over at them, wants to see if they’re okay, but he’s too scared about what the Galra might do if he tries.

_What if they take his other eye? Would they do that? Haggar might want it, or the commander might just take it for fun -_

Keith doesn’t want that to happen, he just wants the guards to stop hurting him, but they just go on kicking him like he’s some kind of diseased animal, and he’s tired and afraid and he just wants to go _home._

_He can still hear his friends, but they may as well be a million lightyears away. They can’t help him, and he can’t help them. In the end, that’s what hurts the most._

Keith tries and fails to swallow back tears, but he’ll be damned if he lets the guards see him crying now, so he grinds his teeth together and keeps his face pressed against the side of the pillar in a last ditch effort to hide his face from his friends.

He knows they’re scared for him, and that seeing him in this much pain is a uniquely cruel method of torture the Galra are using against the rest of the Paladins, but he can’t hide how much it hurts anymore, or how scared he is, or how badly he just wants it all to _stop_.

* * *

An eternity later, the soldiers stop kicking him, and someone loosens the ropes holding his wrists to the post. Keith wishes he could stay upright, but he can’t even manage to control his fall. He just hits the ground and when he does, he tries to hide his head in his arms. Even though he knows he should at least try and look brave for his friends, he _can’t_.

_He can’t, he can’t be brave anymore, it’s too much, he just can’t do it -_

He’s covered in blood and worse. Every muscle in his body aches and throbs with pain. He can’t even see his teammates on the other side of the room because his one good eye is filled with tears.

Laughter, jeers, and then claw-tipped hands grip him by the hair and shoulders and _pull_ , _hard_ , yanking him up onto his knees, forcing him to face the ceiling. 

_Keith doesn’t want them to touch him, he doesn’t want anyone to touch him, ever again -_

The harsh lights spear into his eyes, and then Keith sees the device the commander is holding, and he whimpers and tries to get away, but the guards holding him in place are too strong. His voice is barely more than a whisper, but he tries to ask them to stop, all the same.

_He hates himself for saying it, because he knows they won’t listen, but it hurts, it hurts, and he just wants the pain to stop, please,_ **_please_ ** _-_

He’s begging them not to do this - but none of the guards listen - and even as Keith tries to avoid it, the muzzle is forced over the lower half of his face, and then the cords are quickly knotted and tied and buckled into place behind his head. 

When he tries to loosen the muzzle by shaking his head, one of the guards roars with laughter somewhere nearby, and it makes him go red with shame. 

_I’m_ **_not_ ** _…an animal…I’m…I’m a_ **_person_ ** _…_

From across the room, Pidge is telling him something, and even though it’s still hard to hear her voice, he can see her lips forming words.

_You got this. You can do this._

Keith doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry at that. 

_What, is he some kind of_ **_hero_ ** _now?_

More tears prick at his eyes, and he can’t keep them from sliding down his face. The pain, the humiliation, it’s all just too much. He can’t speak, but he’s able to make eye contact with her for just a second.

_It_ **_hurts_ ,** _Katie._

She bites her lip and tears come to her own eyes.

Then the guards are forcing his right arm out and to the side, and then there’s a smell of burning, an awful, scorching agony on his right forearm that makes him scream and thrash, but the sound is muted and weak, and it only makes the commander sneer in triumph.

“Not so brave now, are you?” he jeers. 

Keith doesn’t answer. He can’t even look up at his tormentors anymore. His entire body hurts more than he ever thought possible, he’s dizzy and sick with shame, and he can do nothing except keep his eyes shut and hope the guards leave soon, so he can finally fall to the ground and just stay there and try to fall unconscious again.

Once the guards cuff Keith’s wrists together behind his back again, they drag him along the floor, towards the far wall where the other Paladins are.

They aren’t particularly careful as they move him, and it’s all Keith can do to keep from screaming again because his back _hurts_ , it hurts even _worse_ than before, but he knows that if he shows it hurts, it’ll only make the situation worse. 

So, despite the pain, he does his best not to scream, or whimper, or make any other kind of noise as the guards toss him against the wall, alongside the other Paladins. Then they leave, locking the door behind them.

* * *

Even then, Keith does his best to remain still, but even as the door closes, the last of his strength leaves him, and he can’t hold himself upright anymore. 

He sags forwards, but it only makes the pain in his stomach worse, and the very thought of trying to sit up and put his back to the wall is enough to make him whimper in half-dazed dread.

_No - he already -  hurts enough - but he can’t stay like this - but he can’t - lie down - either -_

Then someone is near him, telling him he can lean against them, so that he can rest, and Keith finally just lets himself fall against that person’s shoulder without any further thought or hesitation.

_Voices, saying his name, and he wishes he could answer them, but he can’t, he_ **_can’t_ ** _, the muzzle won’t let him -_

But they’re not asking him to answer, they’re telling him it’s okay, and…

Keith doesn’t hear much after that, but he knows it’s not okay, it’s not, because it hurts - it hurts so much - 

_He’s in so much pain, he almost wishes he were dead._

Bile rises in his throat and he tries not to vomit again, because if he does, with this muzzle on, he might drown in - in his own -

He feels even sicker at the thought, but he’s scared, and in pain, and now his chest hurts because he can’t get enough air, and he starts to cry silently because it hurts, it _hurts_ and he can’t get away from it, no matter what he tries to do, he can’t escape the pain.

* * *

As the door closes, Keith sags forwards and lets out a weak moan that Lance hopes he will _never_ hear again.

Keith _isn’t_ supposed to _sound_ like this.

Lance blinks back tears as quickly as he can, then does his best to help keep Keith balanced, to help keep his injured friend sitting as upright as possible. Hunk is supporting Keith’s other side, and Pidge, the one farthest away from them all, is trying to talk to Keith, to reassure him, or at the very least to let him know they’re there for him.

After a time, Keith’s bloodshot purple eyes slit half-way open, but the Red Paladin doesn’t seem to fully register where he is anymore. His gaze wanders from face to face, and then slides to the floor, and Lance feels his heart twist and tear as the light in Keith’s one good eye remains so…dim. 

Keith _isn’t_ supposed to look like _this_.

* * *

Lance tries to help Keith know he’s among friends. 

“Hey, man,” he says. “…uh…how are you feeling?”

It’s lame, but it’s all he can think of.

Keith doesn’t answer at first. He just closes his eye again and sags against Hunk again, who exchanges worried looks with Pidge. 

Lance tries again, speaking a little louder this time. “Keith - hey - mullet-head - come on - please - can you look at me, buddy? Just for a second? Please?”

It takes Keith a little longer than it normally would, but eventually he does look back towards Lance, and when he does, Lance can’t keep from beginning to cry, because kind, brave, caring Keith can’t see out of one eye, and the other one is bloodshot and afraid.

_Keith_ is _afraid_.

“Hey, buddy,” Lance says, doing his best not to start sobbing non-stop like a little kid, “Hey, it’s good to see you awake, man, right, Hunk?”

From Keith’s other side, Hunk takes a second to respond. “Y-yeah, it is,” he manages, and Lance can tell Hunk’s been crying too. “We’re right here, Keith, so you just - try to rest, okay?”

It costs Keith to move his head, but he does, and when he looks at Hunk, the Yellow Paladin is sure if Keith understands Hunk’s words. 

There’s a muffled grunt from behind the muzzle, and at the sound, Lance can’t keep his own tears from falling, because for just a second, it looked like Keith had forgotten that awful thing was on his face, but now Keith’s eyes have gone wide in panic and his shoulders have tightened with fear.

He tries to answer them again, a few times, but as Keith realizes he _truly_ _cannot_ _speak_ , his breaths come more quickly and he -

Before Lance can do or say anything, Keith’s slammed the back of his head against the cell wall in an effort to loosen the hideous thing that’s been buckled over his face. In doing so, he overbalances, and even though Hunk and Lance both try to help him stay upright, Keith’s back slams against the wall, and _that_ causes Keith to spasm again in pain, and he loses his balance completely, crashing down onto the floor, directly onto his lacerated back.

Lance hopes to whatever deity exists that Keith is too out of it right now to feel the pain. 

But the Red Paladin _does_ feel it, because he lets out another muffled cry, and it's only one of the many that will haunt Lance’s nightmares for the rest of his life.

* * *

Pidge swears in anger when Keith falls onto the ground, but she’s not angry at Hunk and Lance.

She’s furious at the Galra soldiers, for doing this to her friend, for hurting him enough to make him scream like that.

He’s clearly in awful pain, so Pidge doesn’t waste any time in taking action. She scoots over as close as she can, getting close enough so that she can lean over as best she can to be in his line of vision. 

It’s tricky, because he’s not staying still. His entire body is jerking and shuddering, his muscles spasming without any predictable pattern, and even though she’s not sure if he can hear her, she tries to tell him that’s its going to be okay.

Eventually, the spasms become twitches, but his body still jerks and shudders as he strains for air through the muzzle, and now tears are flowing down his face, over the leather straps and down his chin, sliding along his neck and dripping down onto the floor by her knees, and this is the moment when Pidge realizes that the Galra _made_ him cry like this ** _on purpose._**

Those _bastards_.

Pidge didn’t know much about Keith’s life before Garrison, but from what she’d observed, the Red Paladin’s rough exterior hid a caring heart and a fierce loyalty for his friends. 

And the Galra had made her friend _cry_. 

But not only that.

They’d hurt him, over and over again, and he’d _still_ tried to keep the other Paladins from seeing just how much pain he was in for as long as he could, but even so, the Galra had gone on hurting him until he screamed without pause, and after his voice was cracked and broken - after he _begged_ them to stop hurting him - they - muzzled him - like a -

_Like a misbehaving animal, coercing him into silent obedience._

The implications were crystal clear.

They thought of him as a piece of property, something to be controlled and forced into line, by _any_ means necessary, and they didn’t care what needed to be done, as long as it ended with Keith silent and - broken and - and - _manageable_ -

Pidge started crying too, then, out of anger and fear and a terrible, wrenching sadness at how anyone could treat her friend like this.

Keith was stubborn, and smart, and loyal, and he was so much _more_ than property. He was _Keith_. He was her _friend_ , and Keith had _never_ cried like this before in front of her, or in front of _anyone_ until now.

Throughout everything, even when he was being tortured, Keith had tried to protect his friends from seeing how much pain he was in, and now, he wasn’t even able to breathe properly, or _speak,_ and his blood was staining the ground beneath her knees.

He was the kindest, bravest, strongest person she had ever met, and those Galra bastards had _made. him. cry_.

She was going to _kill_ them.

“Keith, it’s okay,” she says, and inwardly she promises swift death and destruction to the jackasses that did this to her friend. “Keith, just relax. We’re here. It’s going to be okay.”

He looked back up at her, and she saw that although he wanted to believe her, he just…couldn’t. 

He was just in too much pain.

* * *

Lance and Hunk were near her now as well, as near as they could get, but none of them could actually reach Keith. The most they could do was sit like this, in a crowded semi-circle around him, and try to let him know that they were here for him.

But then the three of them saw that Keith’s face was burning red with shame behind the muzzle, and then he dropped his eyes, as if ashamed to even look back at them, like the muzzle was some mark of dishonor and -

Before she knew it, Pidge was telling Keith just how special she thought he was, and how brave, how kind, how loyal, how strong, and that anyone who said he was worthless was lying, lying like a snake in the grass, and -

It must have been only a few ticks later that she realized Keith was staring up at her with wide eyes that looked so _young_. 

_Had no one ever told him that before?_

Had - had _she_ not told him that before?

Pidge swallowed, but kept talking even as her own tears dripped off her face and fell onto his, but damn it all, it didn’t matter if the Galra said her friend was worthless or anything else, because _it wasn’t true, it wasn’t true at all_ \- because Keith was - so many things - and she wanted him to know how much she cared for him, and how much he meant to all three of them.


	2. Stabbed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This prompt is set directly after the events of Ch 1.

Lance was the first one to hear the door's hinges creak. The Blue Paladin turned immediately so that he could face the door. Even as it swung fully open, he'd gotten to his feet.

It wasn't easy, given that both of his wrists were cuffed to the wall behind him, but the chain attaching his wrists to the wall had _just_ enough slack to allow him to stand almost fully upright. 

* * *

When Hunk saw Lance move, his first thought was to go to his friend's aid. If someone was coming in here - and they were - he wasn't about to let Lance face the threat alone.

* * *

Even as Hunk turned his attention towards the Blue Paladin, Pidge began pulling at the chains holding her to the wall. She heard Lance growl something at whoever stood in the doorway, but she couldn't make out the words. 

Fear tended to have that effect.

* * *

Noises came from somewhere nearby.

Keith felt them reverberating through the floor.

_Footsteps._

 

The lights were too bright. He closed his eyes.

 

"Don't you touch him!"

_Lance was angry._

It was so different than how his friend usually sounded that Keith tensed in what might have been fear, if he'd had the energy to feel it.

 

Someone laughed derisively, and as the footsteps came closer, Keith knew that there wasn't much he could do.

It hurt too much to remain lying on his lacerated back.

But movement would hurt too. 

 

He was so _tired_.

 

A different voice, one that wasn't from a friend at all.

It was a harsh snarl, annoyed and dismissive all at once.

"Stand aside, boy."

 

Keith didn't want anyone to get hurt because of him. He tried to sit up, or tell Lance to back down, but he could do neither.

 

More noises. Chained up as they were, it sounded like the three other Paladins of Voltron were doing their best to keep the enemy away from Keith.

It was over soon enough, but that didn't mean they stopped trying. Lance even shouted a phrase which would have gotten him detention for a week at Garrison.

 

Then Keith felt a presence at his side. A voice sounded right by his shoulder. 

"Keep them secured."

 

Even as the voice spoke, rough, clawed hands rolled Keith onto his left side, leaving the unknown person at his back.

 

Fear rushed through the Red Paladin once again, and he did his best to curl into a ball, as if that would somehow help him feel less vulnerable.

The voice snarled in annoyance.

"Stop moving."

Fingers gripped the chains around his wrists and then pulled and twisted them sharply to one side, forcing Keith into a half-sitting position. Even as the iron links bit into the already damaged muscle and tissue, pain shot up Keith's arms.

He let out a strangled cry and tried to wrench away from the pressure, but a clawed hand wrapped around his chest, gripped him by the throat, and went tight.

Fear turned into panic. Keith struggled to break free, but he'd lost too much blood. He couldn't get away.

 

After what seemed ages, the grip on Keith's throat lessened, just enough so that he could breathe again - shallow, harsh coughs and gasps that echoed around the cell.

 

"If you do that again," the voice said, completely calm, "I won't be as kind."

 

Keith wanted to ask what the hell was going on, but instead, he concentrated on getting enough air through the muzzle that had been bolted over his face. After he accomplished that, he opened his one good eye and found that he now faced the far wall, where his friends were guarded by three figures.

 

Familiar ones.

Lotor's Generals.

 

Ezor had pinned Lance by his neck almost three feet above the ground. As much as he tried to get free, she seemed to hold him in place with insulting ease.

"Ugh," she said. "Come one, Acxa, let's get this done."

 

" _Yes_ ," Zethrid said. She had somehow forced Hunk face-first onto the floor, with one knee in the small of his back. "I hate it in here. It's too cramped."

 

Narti said nothing, as usual, but she did tighten her hold around Pidge's neck. The dagger in the General's hand gleamed menacingly.

* * *

Not for the first time, Pidge cursed her short arms and legs. It really put her at a disadvantage in a hand-to-hand fight.

She watched as Acxa brought out a syringe and held it up towards the light, examining its contents.

It was filled with a pale gold liquid, which didn't look particularly threatening, but the needle was - 

The needle was one of the longest, sharpest ones Pidge had ever seen. It looked more like a stiletto dagger than a needle.

"This will keep infection from setting in," Acxa told Keith. "That is, it should. No guarantees."

Without further hesitation, she plunged the needle into Keith's upper right shoulder and and injected its contents into his arm. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for the kudos and /especially/ the comments! :D They really help me stay encouraged and get more ideas for writing. <3 <3 <3


	3. Insomnia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This prompt is part of the previous two - it's just a (very brief) change of perspective.

Coran couldn't rest. 

It had been two full quintents since the Galra Empire had captured the Paladins of Voltron, and the Castle still couldn't find them. 

 

Neither Altean had slept since then.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again, so much, for the comments and the kudos <3 <3 They /really/ help me when I'm trying to work through writer's block. <3


	4. Ch 4: "No, stop!" and 'Poisoned'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These two prompts take place immediately after Ch 2.

Even as the needle broke through the skin of the Red Paladin's shoulder, Acxa tightened her grip, intent on keeping him in place until the full dose was given. 

This injection was vital to Lotor's plan.

* * *

As the unknown drug entered into his bloodstream, Keith felt himself begin to shake in both fear and exhaustion.

_Whatever this was, he didn't want it._

He jerked his head from side to side, more in a desperate attempt to deny what was happening than a real effort to escape, but Acxa only tightened her grip on the syringe. 

" _Keith_!"

Pidge's shout echoed through the cell. Ezor winced and turned her head to glare down at the Green Paladin even as Narti's tail flicked out sharply, striking Pidge across the face and temporarily silencing her.

"- idge - "

Lance's voice was raspy, almost inaudible. It cut off when Ezor slammed him against the wall again, hard enough to dent his already damaged Paladin's armor.

Hunk roared in anger as Lance's unprotected head rocked backwards with the force of the blow. Even so, Zethrid kept the Yellow Paladin pinned without much effort, growling something about foolish humans under her breath.

* * *

Keith knew he was breathing too quickly, too shallowly, but the syringe was almost half-empty now, and the injection site was already painful and swollen.

_What kind of drug **was** this?_

Fear sent a shudder up his spine, and he desperately twisted from side to side, arching his back in a real effort to break free.

_I don't want this, **I don't want this** -_

But Acxa only adjusted her grip once more, digging her clawed fingers deeper into his skin, into his muscles and tendons and nerves and bone. Sweat began to drip down Keith's face, and despite all his best efforts, he couldn’t hold back a half-strangled cry when the pain started.

* * *

It began slowly at first, but it grew worse with each passing second. It felt as if tiny knives and needles of fire and ice were beginning to find their way into his lungs, into his heart, and as time ticked by, it only grew worse, and worse, and _worse_.

_\- but - if his friends tried to help him - they would get hurt -_

So Keith focused his eyes on the portion of ceiling he could see and tried, unsuccessfully, to breathe steadily through his nose, to will himself through the pain. He was the Guardian of the Fire, he could handle this - he could - do this -

_\- don't show how much it hurts - don't show it -_

But the pain was _pulsing_ through his blood now, and it __burned_  _and __hurt_  _as if white-hot flames were coursing throughout his entire body. 

In the end, all he could do was close his eyes and try and curl into a ball again, to become as small as possible, to disappear. 

* * *

When Acxa threw away the empty syringe and got to her feet, Keith fell back onto the ground, and when he did, he landed on his left side. When the General spoke, her voice was flat, almost bored.

"It's done. Let's get out of here."

"Ugh, _finally_. That took _forever_ , A."

Keith managed to slit his one good eye open in time to see Ezor come to stand by Acxa, with Zethrid and Narti only a few paces behind. 

_He hoped the other Paladins were all right. After the Generals left, maybe he could try and see if they were okay._

The pain still pulsed through him, but it was less searingly awful than a moment before. All the same, when Keith tried to shift his weight, he found it was more difficult than he'd expected it to be. In fact, it felt as if his muscles had turned to stone. 

_...paralysis?..._

Ice-cold fear ran through him, and just for a moment, Keith felt as if he couldn't breathe.

_Something was wrong._

He could still hear the Generals moving towards the door, but something was _still_   _wrong_. 

_What was it?_

It was only when something jarred his injured leg that Keith realized he was being dragged backwards towards the door, Ezor's hand gripping the collar of his black flight suit.

_They were taking him away._

* * *

At the far corner of the room, Hunk had just managed to get to his knees. Lance, though still unsteady from the blow Ezor had given him, was still trying to get back to his feet. His face was pale, almost a sickly white, but he looked as determined as Keith had ever seen him. Pidge had a purple bruise across one side of her face, but she seemed not to notice it. She'd already lunged forwards, trying to reach Keith, but he'd already been dragged more than half-way across the room. The chains that held the Green Paladin in place halted her progress, and she screamed in both fear and rage.

"NO! No, stop!"

"KEITH!"

" _No_!"

But Keith couldn’t say anything, not with the muzzle still buckled over his face. All he could do was look back at his friends as his worst fears came true.

_He didn't want to leave them. He didn't want to be alone. Not again._

The Generals were almost at the door now, but Ezor stopped to glance back. Keith could hear the cruel smile in her voice when she spoke.

"Aw, that's so _sweet_. Isn't it _sweet_ , Z?"

Zethrid grunted. "It's nauseating."

"How about you, N? What do you think?"

Silence from Narti, somehow conveying vague annoyance.

Ezor nodded, as if the mute General had replied. "Yeah, I know, it's _disgusting_."

* * *

"LET HIM GO!" That was Pidge, incandescent with rage and helpless fury. "OR I SWEAR, I'LL -"

Ezor tilted her head in an almost curious manner. "You'll _what_ , Paladin? Take him from us?" So saying, she reached down and yanked on the muzzle around Keith's face, causing him to let out a muffled sob of pain.

The General had made her point quite eloquently. Pidge's shout died mid-word, although her eyes burned with unbridled fury that only died out when she turned her gaze to Keith instead.

"Keith- listen, I'll figure this out, okay? I'll figure this out."

Lance looked as if he were about to be sick, but he nodded.

"We are _not_ giving up on you."

Hunk couldn't say anything, but he managed to gulp and nod, making a heroic effort not to break down entirely.

For his part, Keith didn't make any sound when the tears began sliding down his own face, one at a time.

Ezor rolled her eyes. "Ugh. You humans and your _feelings_."

* * *

Back at the door, Acxa spoke again. "Enough, Ezor. Let's _go_."

Ezor shrugged, then turned back towards the door and adjusted her grip on Keith's collar, shifting her balance so as to move easily once the door was open.

"Yeah, well, I was getting bored anyway."

Zethrid grunted again. "We _all_ were."

Narti, as always, remained silent, but moved in front of Acxa to block the Paladin's view as the General used a security key-code to open the prison door.

As the code went through its usual verification process, Zethrid came to stand by Ezor. In her hands, she held a long strip of cloth.

Pidge figured out what it was just before the General secured it over Keith's eyes.

She saw him freeze into place as it covered his eyes, saw his shoulders tighten as the blindfold was tied securely into place, saw how he tried to pull away from Zethrid right before Ezor grabbed a fistful of his dark hair and _forced_ his head to remain still until the final knots were tied.

But even as Pidge opened her mouth to cry out, the door hissed open, and without ceremony, Zethrid hoisted Keith over her shoulder, ignoring his various injuries as she and the other Generals went out into the hallway.

* * *

Keith knew he was in a desperate situation.

He was surrounded by enemies, on the way to an uncertain fate, and all sight, sound, speech, and movement had been taken from him.

But none of that was what weighed most heavily on his heart. None of that was the real reason why he felt his inner fires dim as he was carried down the corridor.

_He hadn't been able to say goodbye._


	5. Prompt: Betrayed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Lotor betrays the Paladins of Voltron, not everyone makes it out. 
> 
> This is a stand-alone one-shot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I know a lot of people think that saying 'I love you' to someone /has/ to be taken in a romantic way...but that wasn't what I was going for here. (Although, to be honest, I personally find the idea of Keith and Pidge together quite sweet <3)
> 
> But really, sometimes the hardest thing to do is to tell a friend that you love them - not romantically, but just as a good friend, you know? Someone you really care about, and want to see happy, and who you enjoy being with. That's what I was going for in this prompt.

He wanted to tell his friend that he cared for her, but it was so hard to find the words.

 

It wasn't a case of not knowing what the words were.

He'd known what they were for years.

_I love you._

Anyone could say it. 

But it was one thing to say it, and another thing entirely to mean it.

 

Keith knew he meant it.

He meant it with all his soul.

He would have given anything to tell those words to her years ago, ages ago.

But now, he was out of time.

And he _had_ to tell her, because otherwise, he would lose the chance forever.

 

"...I...love you, Katie..."

 

But he didn't know if she could hear him.

His voice was raw from screaming in pain, and he didn't even know if she was still alive.

_Please, gods, please, please, let her be alive, let her be alive, please, she was special, she was **Katie** , she was smart and funny and brave and had so much life in her, please, please let her live, please, please, **please** -_

He knew it might be too late already, but he said it again, anyway, because stars above, she had to hear him, somehow, some way.

"...Katie...you're...my friend...please... _please_ wake up..."

But she didn't answer him, and he felt tears come to his eyes.

"... _Katie_..."

He couldn't move anymore, he couldn't even get enough breath into his lungs, but he managed to rest his forehead against hers.

 

He knew his blood was staining the ground beneath both of them, but he was just too tired to care.

It hurt too much to move.

But then, even as his vision began to fade, he saw her open her eyes. She fixed her gaze on his, and in the few seconds he had left, he knew she'd heard him.

His chest hurt.

He couldn't breathe right.

 

She was asking him what was wrong, why were they pinned down in this dead end, and he saw her remember that Lotor had betrayed them, had led them into this kill box, and then...

Then his chest and arms and legs _hurt_ , and he couldn't stay upright any longer.

He felt himself begin to fall to one side, tried not to.

 

_No, no, Katie wasn't safe yet, he couldn't leave Katie undefended, he **couldn't** -_

 

But his injuries were fatal.

He'd known that since the first bolt of black energy had gone straight through his shield and burned deep into his stomach.

Just before the pain hit him, he'd seen another shot ricochet off of Pidge's helmet, throwing her onto the ground, knocking her unconscious.

That'd been right before all the other shots had rung out.

So, when he fell, he tried to provide some kind of shield for Katie with his body, done his best to take the shots instead of her, because in his condition, it was all he could do to protect her. 

 

She could still get out of here.

But he wasn't going to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part one of the prompt. Part two is going to be another stand-alone one-shot.


	6. Prompt: Betrayed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU Galra Reveal. This prompt takes place in a significantly darker universe. Here's the summary:
> 
> Lance, Allura, Hunk, and Pidge are /all/ Altean. Lance and Allura are siblings, Prince and Princess.  
> Their father, King Alfor, was recently assassinated.  
> It's believed that the assassin was Galra (a race that is almost extinct, due to a war that the Alteans had recently won)
> 
> Setting: An old Galra outpost, leftover from the war  
> The team (Allura, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, and Keith) are on a scouting mission, and a fellow team-mate (an unpleasant Altean named Jenick) has just discovered that the sensors in the Galra base have identified Keith as part-Galra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You should know that the alternate title for this was: 'In this reality...everything goes to Hell'
> 
> Basically I wrote this out mainly to help myself process a lot of...really unpleasant emotions earlier this year. Or maybe it was late last year.  
> Either way, this is quite possibly the most emotionally intense thing I can remember writing out.
> 
> It could be because I literally could not find a way to include Shiro in this setting, which is unusual. His absence, I think, is a large reason why the events in this fic escalate.
> 
> But back to the prompt.

As soon as the scanner identified him as ‘Galra’, Keith knew they were going to hurt him.

Jenick’s face and voice over the comms screen was satisfied, cold, and almost…gleeful. 

Keith tried to run, to get past the others, but it was useless. 

Lance had managed to get in his way, strike his bayard out of his hands and knock him off balance, and then Hunk had tackled him to the ground. Even then, he'd tried fighting them, desperate to get away, but Allura had grabbed hold of his wrists and - and - and Pidge was holding onto his ankles, and - he couldn't move, he couldn't get free - not without hurting them - and he didn’t want to hurt them, they were his friends, even - even if - 

But Allura’s grip was so tight it hurt, and Keith knew they weren’t going to let him go - even if he asked - 

_No - no - no - please - please don't do this - please let go - let me go -_

Panic overrode his reason, and he tried kicking out, tried biting the nearest hand that held him down, but it was useless. 

Even as he tried biting the nearest hand, someone - Allura - took hold of his helmet, pulled it off, and then grabbed hold of his hair and yanked, once, _hard_. Despite his best efforts, his head was pulled back onto the ground, the stone floor cold beneath his neck and the back of his head, and he looked up with terror at the ring of unsmiling faces looming over him.

Allura, her eyes cold and hard. Lance, no hint of mirth in his expression. Hunk, unusually grim and silent, keeping both hands on Keith's chest, to prevent him from rising. Pidge, near the end of his vision, pinning his ankles to the ground with both hands.

"Geez, he's strong - "

Keith didn't know when he'd started crying, but he wished he could just _stop_. 

The voices went on, voices he knew, voices he never thought he'd fear. 

"- guess that's to be expected - he is half- _Galra_ \- "

Keith felt terror rise in him, and he knew he had to talk, now, before they didn'tlet him.

_Maybe I can still try - maybe there's still time before - before -_

He wished he could get the words out without stammering, but he was just too _scared_.

" _Please_ \- I'm - I'm _sorry_ \- "

His team was looking down at him like he was a monster, like he was something so revolting they wanted to destroy him on sight.

It was awful, to see them _hate_ him this much.

Jenick was saying something in the background, his voice satisfied and triumphant over the comms, something about guards and a proper end to the spy in their midst - 

_No - I’m not a spy - I’m not - I’m not -_

"-'m sorry - I swear, I - I didn't know until - until the last time I went to Kereberos - I'm s-sorry - "

But it didn't seem to matter that he was sorry. Allura's voice was harsh, cold, completely unfeeling.

"Don't let him get free."

Hands tightened their grip on his wrists and his ankles, and as much as he tried to wrench free from them, he couldn’t manage it.

“- _please_ \- I didn’t - I d-didn’t - know - I _didn’t_ -”

Then Jenick was standing over him too, and he kicked Keith in the side. 

It hurt, the touch hurt like fire - he must have activated the anti-Galra sensors in his armor - 

Keith screamed in pain, then, thrashing and trying his best to break free again. 

"Please - I _swear_ , I  - I didn't - I didn't have anything to do with the ambush - please - _Allura_ \- "

Allura's grip only tightened, hard enough where he felt the bones in his wrists start to creak under the pressure.

He was sobbing now, and he hated himself for it, because they thought he was lying, they thought he was a spy - but he wasn't - he _wasn't_ \- he hadn't asked to be half-Galra, he hadn't meant to lie to them - 

" - Allura - I'm sorry - I swear, I didn't know - I'm sorry - I _tried_ to save your father - I _swear_ \- “ 

Allura's fingers twitched, and when she spoke, her voice was low, even, and cold. 

“Oh, I'm _sure_ you did - _Galra._ "

It was only then that her grip on his right wrist went _tight_ , cracking the bone in two. 

 _Pain - such - awful - pain - oh god -_  

The back of his head hit the floor again as he screamed, this time without words, without any semblance of dignity or composure. 

Lance said something that might have been a curse, and Allura replied, short and harsh and - 

He couldn’t hear what she said. 

_She’d been his friend this morning. But now..._

_Now she_ **_hated_ ** _him._

 

Someone else spoke - Pidge - that was - Pidge's voice - 

"Leave him be, Allura. We need him able to speak in front of the Council."

He ran out of breath, inhaled again, and kept screaming. Somewhere along the line Pidge must have gotten tired of hearing him, because she said something to Jenick, something harsh and short, and then - 

And then a hood was pulled down, over his head, and they tied his wrists behind his back, and someone strong - Hunk - had hauled him over one shoulder, turned, and was walking down a corridor. 

Keith felt a sob rise in his chest. 

They hated him. 

They _hated_ him.

But he - he couldn't hate them.

He just couldn't.

"Shut _up_ ," Hunk's voice said. It was cold, and harsh, and so- _not_ -Hunk it sounded like another person entirely.

Keith swallowed back another sob, and he tried not to cry, but his injured wrist throbbed with each lurch, and he couldn't hold back a whimper of pain when they turned another corner. 

Hunk snarled, again sounding so unlike himself, it was terrifying. "I said _shut up!_ "

Keith _tried_ , because when Hunk sounded that angry, it was a _really_ bad idea to make him any angrier, but when something glanced off his injured wrist, it send a red-hot spike of pain through his arm, and he let out a sharp groan through his teeth.

For an instant, he thought maybe they weren’t going to react, but then someone - Jenick, probably, he’d always hated Keith - reached out and intentionally struck his injured wrist again.

Keith couldn’t help it. 

He screamed, and jerked away from the pain, and either because the motion came at just the right time, or because it took the Yellow Paladin by surprise, Keith tumbled off of Hunk’s shoulders and slammed hard against the corridor’s floor. All the breath left his lungs, and as he struggled to regain his breath, he thought he heard Jenick laugh from somewhere nearby.

Then someone snarled a curse, grabbed hold of his wrists, and yanked him into a sitting position, pushing him back against a wall. His fractured wrist throbbed with pain, and he would have screamed again in agony if he'd had the air.

Then the bag was ripped off his head, and Pidge's face was barely inches from his own. 

Her eyes were red with crying, her teeth bared into a snarl.

"We _trusted_ you!" She screamed, and then she hit him across the face, with nothing more than her bare knuckles. 

The skin over his cheekbone split open, and his blood sprayed across her ashen face. 

When he gasped in pain, it only seemed to enrage her further. 

Another blow, this time a back-hand slap with every ounce of her energy behind it.

His head rocked to one side with the force of the blow, and he caught a glimpse of Lance's hard eyes glaring at him before Pidge gripped hold of his hair, brought his eyes to meet hers, and snarled, so low and fierce it seemed like a lion's growl,

"We should _kill_ y-”

He hadn't meant to talk again - but - but she hated him - they all did - now - 

"'M sorry - Pidge - I -"

Pidge roared in fury and hit him again, splitting the skin on her other knuckles.

"SHUT UP!! JUST SHUT UP, YOU FUCKING **TRAITOR**!"

Keith tasted blood in his mouth after that hit, and dimly, he knew he didn't have much time left before he passed out. 

But...

He had to tell them, he _had_ to - 

He glanced over towards Lance, who was the only one who hadn't hit him yet, and tried one last time. 

"I - I didn't - know - I s-swear - please - you - you've got - to get out of here - I don't - I don't want you t-"

Pidge roared in fury again and raised her fist for another hit, but Keith's words stopped her short. 

"-to d-die - please - _please_ go- "

Allura spoke from where she stood next to Hunk. 

" _What_?"

The one word contained so much venom in it that Keith recoiled from it, but he kept talking, chancing one last look at her. It was the only possibility now that he could do his team some good. 

"- the - the safeguards - here - they'll - they'll go off - soon - wipe out - wipe out any - intruders - _please_ \- you've got t-"

Someone grabbed hold of his hair again and roughly yanked his head backwards. Keith only had time to see Lance's cold eyes as his former friend looked down at him.

"You heard Hunk," Lance said, cold fury in every syllable. 

Then he slammed a half-mask over Keith's face, and as it cycled shut, the Altean prince said two words that spelled the end of anything remotely resembling mercy.

"Shut. _Up_."

 

When the mask cycled shut over the lower half of his face, Keith knew that every single one of his friends _hated_ him now. 

They hated him for _who_ he was, _what_ he was, and he wished he had died before seeing the hate in their eyes when they looked at him.

Tears began to run down his face and over the mask as he realized that his friend - that _all_ of his friends - were gone. Only ice-cold rage and fury remained, aimed directly at him. 

He couldn't hold back another muffled sob, but then Pidge had grabbed the hood and was pulling it back over his face, her own expression still white with fury and awful anger. Just before the hood covered his eyes, their gazes met. 

He tried to tell her, with the way he looked at her, that he hadn't ever, _ever_ meant to hurt her, to hurt any of them. 

But her eyes burned with anger and fury, and betrayal, and he felt his heart shatter at the realization that in this moment, Pidge would _gladly_ see him dead.

He shrank back from her and dropped his gaze, and then Hunk had hoisted him onto his shoulder again. Soon, they entered the portal room, and went through to Altea.

When they brought him before the Council, and Jenick told the Council the ‘Galra spy’ needed to be questioned about the recent assassination, he didn't try to say anything. 

He just kept his head down and his eyes closed, and tried to brace himself for torture, for questioning, and eventually, execution.

His team _hated_ him now. 

They didn’t want anything to do with him.

He was alone.

Nothing else mattered. 

Nothing. 

 

"Who else planned the assassination of King Alfor?"

A hissing sound, a crack, a scream. 

" _Who_?"

Keith's voice was ragged, tired, and lifeless.

"Nobody. I _told_ you. I didn't - I didn't help -"

Another harsh, cracking sound, another cry of pain. 

When the voice spoke again, it was cool, calm, absolutely impassive. 

"We know you're lying, Galra. Truth serums may not work on your kind, but we’ll discover what you’re hiding soon enough.”

Keith half-shrugged. He didn’t raise his face. 

“I…told you already…’m not…’m not hiding anyth-“

Another strike of the whip, another cry of pain. 

When Jenick spoke again, his voice was mockingly inquiring. 

“Do you _wish_ to die, _Galra_? I assure you, I can hasten the process.”

Keith kept his eyes fixed on the ground as he answered. 

"You're ... wasting ... your time ..."

In the viewing area above, Pidge's eyes flickered with disbelief at his next words. 

"I've got ... nothing left ... to live for."

 

 Lance whirled around, his face gone deathly pale, his Altean blue markings standing out like blood against his skin.

"What do you _mean_ , we've caught the _Altean_ conspirators?"

The guard bowed low, once more. 

"My prince, it seems it was an attack from one of the Council members - the Galra half-breed had nothing to do wi-"

Before the words had left his mouth, Lance had already dashed headlong out of the room. 

"ALLURA! ALLURA, STOP!"

 

 Keith still hung from his restraints, and when light entered his cell, he didn't bother looking up.

Light hurt his eyes, and the darkness scared him. 

But nothing mattered. 

Not anymore. 

Then the light caught the edge of a sword. 

Keith only noticed because the sword's tip was thrust forwards, right up against his throat. 

A voice - a familiar one - the voice of someone whom he'd once called friend. 

" _Look_ at me."

The sword point dug into his skin, forcing him to raise his face towards the light. 

He squinted. He only had one good eye now. The other had swollen shut days ago.

"...'llura...?"

The sword's point trembled, then went still. 

That had been what he'd called her long ago, back when they'd been children.

When the Altean Princess spoke, her voice was iron hard, unforgiving.

"Why did you kill my father?"

Once, Keith would have shouted in anger at the accusation, but now, he only felt tired, and sad, and grey. 

He just wanted to be happy again.

He just wanted his friends to believe him.

One of those things had most likely been lost forever. 

But...maybe...

He fixed his gaze on her, and said, very quietly, 

" -llura-"

The sword flicked at his neck, drawing blood, and he let out a hiss of pain and tensed as she said, fury burning in her eyes, "You will _not_ call me that, traitor - you will call me by my _title_. The one my _father_ gave me."

The sword pressed into his neck again, and he looked back up at her, at her anger, at her pain, and he didn't say anything.

The sword's edge flashed again, and it opened up a deep cut on his face. He bit back a cry, but he knew it was only a matter of seconds before his self-control broke. That last strike had cut down to the bone. 

" _Say_ it, you filthy traitor."

He felt the anger in her voice, and knew it gave her purpose and strength, but it blinded her, too. 

Footsteps pounded down the corridor, and someone was shouting for Allura, but she was blind and deaf to everything except the object of her hate.

Keith couldn’t take his gaze off her hard, cold, burning eyes. 

She’d been his friend _,_ only days before.

But now…

Something bright and small fell down from his eye, onto the blade, glimmering in the half-light.

He didn’t know what to say to her. 

Even if he tried, it was likely she wouldn’t listen.

But he had to _try_.

"...'llura... _please_...this...this isn’t you..."

Then Jenick was by her side, and he glanced back towards the door and was telling her that she had to strike, _now_ , if she wished to avenge her father. 

When she didn’t, he took the sword from her fingers, gave Keith a hard, cold smile, and ran him clean through with the thin blade.

Keith only stared in confusion and shock at them both as the sword pierced his stomach and went out through his back. Then he looked down at the spreading patch of red, and then back up at the Princess, dimly realizing that she’d…she’d just…

She’d just… _let…_ this…happen…because…

Allura went deathly pale, but she made no movement towards either him or Jenick. Her eyes were still hard and cold as they stared back at Keith’s face.

Keith found, to his dazed confusion, that he still had breath enough to cry.

She hated him.

She _hated_ him.

“…’ _llura_ …”

Just then, Lance burst through the door, in time to see Jenick pull the sword out of the wound, twisting it viciously as he did so, and blood welled up, out of the wound, onto Keith’s tattered Paladin's undershirt, and fell in a stream of steady droplets onto the floor.

" _That_ is for killing the king," Jenick said. Allura’s face went a few shades paler, but she still did _nothing_ when Keith’s face twisted in pain, when he tried to speak again, but couldn’t. Her hand twitched, and after a few moments, she reached out and took the sword from Jenick, and returned it to her belt. It still dripped with red.

Even as she did so, Keith let out a short, wordless, gurgling sob of agony. His head sagged forwards as a tear ran down his face and fell onto the floor.

Jenick saw, and he scoffed, once, contemptuously. Then he turned on his heel and left the room without further comment.

On his way out, he passed by Lance, who had stopped dead in his tracks, gaping in horrified dismay at the sight before him. 

Allura made to follow, but stopped short at the sight of Lance’s horrified expression. 

She straightened her shoulders, as a queen must after an execution.

“He killed our father, Lance. It had to be done.”

She glanced back at Keith, felt one corner of her mouth curl into a snarl. 

“And now, we can let time do the rest.”

Even as she turned back towards her younger brother, she was finishing the grim truth. 

“It won’t be quick, but it will _definitely_ finish him off.”

 

Lance was looking back at him, his usually cheerful face pale as as a ghost, and Keith felt the words leave him, without thought, without deliberation, because he knew he had only seconds before the shock wore off completely, and after that, he’d likely never speak coherently again.

_He was dying - but - but he wasn’t a traitor - he wasn’t - he didn’t want them to remember him as one -_

“-L-Lance - ‘llura - I’m - s-sorry - please - _please_ \- I’m sorry - I swear - I didn’t - I - d-d-didn’t-”

Then the full pain of his injury crashed down upon him, and all he could do was writhe in anguish.

His throat hurt. His body hurt. His arms were stretched out, shackled to the wall, so he couldn’t even fall onto the ground, he just hung there, trying to breathe, unable to die. Everything hurt - and 'llura - she'd - just - _watched_ \- as Jenick - 

But he still couldn't hate her. 

He just…couldn’t.

Two voices, nearby, harsh, shrill, and then someone let out an awful wail - a thin, high cry of panic and anguish -

_Allura?_

He couldn’t get enough air, even though he felt his chest rise and fall in frantic, harsh jerks -

Someone was shouting, and then hands were putting pressure on his injury, and it _hurt_ \- but when he tried to scream, he tasted blood, and it scared him. 

He spat most of the blood out, gasped in air, but it still hurt, it hurt and he wanted to die, if he died maybe his friends wouldn't - wouldn't - wouldn't hate him - anymore - 

Even though he knew she wouldn’t listen, he tried to ask her to kill him, _please_ , just to end it, now, because it was going to take _hours_ to die this way, it was - _awful_ - 

_Allura - please - end it - please -_

Someone was sobbing, saying "I'm sorry, I’m sorry, I should have gotten here sooner - I’m sorry, Keith, I’m sorry -”

_Lance?_

Keith tried to move, to get away from the pressure, because it hurt, it _hurt_ , and he didn't _want_ to hurt anymore, but then there were more noises around him - more people coming into the cell -

Hands, scrabbling at the restraints holding his arms to the wall - 

_Katie?_

Something in the chains came loose, and he crumpled down towards the floor, but someone had caught him and eased him onto the ground - lying him on his back -

 _Hunk_?

Then there was _more_ pressure on his injury, and _pain_ , awful, sickening pain, and he cried out again, but this time it was only a weak, gargling kind of sound because of all the blood - 

 

He tasted blood, and he was scared, and there were too many people around him, and it _hurt_. 

 _Everything_ _hurt, everything hurt worse with each passing second -_

But he thought he knew of a way to make it stop.

Hunk wore a knife on his belt - if - if Hunk - would just -

_Please - please kill me -_

Someone was stammering that they couldn’t, they could never, _ever_ do that, and he wanted to cry, because why didn’t they _understand_ , he was dying _already_ \- Allura had said so - she’d _wanted_ him to die - 

_Please - someone - please - please - it hurts - it - it hurts - please - make it s-s-stop -_

Someone was sobbing nearby.

Was it - was it him?

_No - no he couldn’t - let them hear him - if he was crying, he had to be quiet, he couldn't let them hear him, or they'd put that mask on him again-_

Blood was bubbling up from somewhere in his throat, and it was hard to stay quiet, but he tried to gasp in air as quietly as he could through his teeth, and then someone grabbed hold of his left hand, saying that it was okay, it was okay to cry - 

 _Lance_?

_But - he'd - he’d -_

"I know, and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, buddy, I was stupid and mean and what I did was _so_ ugly, _please_ forgive me - I'm _so_ sorry - "

God, the pain was awful - it wrenched and tore inside him - and he tried again to beg Allura to just kill him, _please_ , it _hurt_ , but the hands keeping pressure on the wound only increased their weight, and he let out a breathless sob that broke into a bubbling scream. 

_No - please stop - please stop - it hurts - it hurts - please - please stop - please - let me die -_

Something rattled near his head, and then strong hands were lifting him up onto a stretcher, and it hurt, it hurt, it _hurt_. All thought crumbled and split apart from the agony, and he wished he were dead, he wished Jenick had just killed him in the cell, and had done with it.

 

He didn’t understand where he _was_ anymore, and he felt his whole body shake and twitch in pain, and fear, and helpless terror, and he felt blood running down his chin and down the sides of his mouth and it scared him, the coppery taste was awful, and he just wanted it to _stop_ - 

 

More voices, more noise, more pain.

“The light’s too bright - ”

“Cover his eyes - ”

“I got it - ”

Something - a bandage? - was placed over his eyes, secured around his head, but Keith didn't know what was going on, but he wanted it to _stop_ , he just wanted the pain to _stop_. 

 _Please - please - make it stop - please - I'm sorry - I'm sorry - please -_ _Allura - please - end it -_

People were talking, sounds and lights and movement were all around him, but he felt so alone - and scared - and lost - 

 _I'm sorry - I'm sorry - please don't - don't hate me - I'm sorry - I swear - I didn't know - I'm sorry - I'm sorry - please -_  

 

More voices, voices he didn’t know, spoke around him.

"-he needs a healing pod - "

"-no time-"

"-xygen, now -“

Everything hurt too much, everything was still too bright and sharp and it _hurt_ , and he tried to roll onto his side, to curl into himself, to become a smaller target, but someone held him down, kept his arms pinned against his sides, strong hands holding him in place as the hum of restraints activated.

Restraints meant questioning. 

Questioning meant pain.

He moaned, and tears dampened the blindfold.

He didn’t want more to endure any more pain, he couldn’t bear it, he’d rather die -

_Please - I’m sorry - please let me go - please - please - please - end it - please - please-_

But the restraints were fully activated now, and although he tried to pull at them, to get free, it was useless. 

He felt more tears start running freely down his face, and he couldn’t keep from shaking, because his friends - his friends didn’t believe him - they thought he was a traitor - they wanted to make him pay for it - 

_They hate me - they hate me - I'm sorry - I'm sorry -_

Everything ached, and hurt, and the blood in his throat _burned_ , and then something was placed over his face, a mask of some kind, and he whimpered, he tried to fight against it, because he hated this, he hated _anything_ over his face, it scared him, it always had - and Lance had known - and done it anyway -

_I’m sorry - I’m sorry - I tried - to save your father - I swear - I’m sorry - I’m so sorry - please - please don’t -_

But no matter what he said, long and deft fingers pulled the mask's straps tight and taunt around his head, and Keith slumped in despair, because he couldn’t hate them, he just couldn’t - but they hated him, they wanted him _dead_ - 

_I'm sorry - I'm sorry - please - I’m sorry - please - it hurts - please - please help me -_

Hands, small hands, deft and quick, took gentle hold of Keith's face, and he flinched away from them, because when people touched him, they _hurt_ him, they _hurt_ him and he didn't _like_ it-

Katie's voice, choked and miserable and full of self-hate.

"It's okay, Keith, it's okay, this is oxygen, you need this, all right? It's - it's a good - kind of mask - so-"

But his face hurt, his eyes, everything hurt and pounded with pain, and he started crying again, tears leaking out from between his closed eyelids, because Katie hated him too, she _hated_ him and she wanted him _dead_ \- but he didn’t want to see her get hurt, he didn’t want to see her cry, he just wanted her to be safe, that was why he’d tried to protect her - 

_Katie - I’m sorry - please don’t - I’m sorry - I’m sorry - please -_

Pidge’s voice broke into sobs, and Keith felt her forehead touch his, and he didn’t know why she was doing that, because she wanted him dead, because he was Galra, because - because -

Then there was a hiss, a whirring, and Keith knew what that was. 

It was the sound of medical equipment coming online. 

Fear pounded through him, mindless, blind panic, and he made a final effort to get away.

He didn’t want to be here. 

He didn’t want them to hurt him again.

 _No - please - I'm sorry - I'm_ **_sorry_ ** _\- please - I’m sorry - please -_

He pulled at the restraints holding his arms in place, he tried to kick out, he even tried to dislodge the blindfold, but it was useless.

He felt another sob wrench its way out of his throat, and he didn’t even try to stop it, or the tears.

 

Katie was still holding his face in her hands, saying something about it being all right, that this was going to help him, but he didn’t believe her, not anymore, not after what they'd done to him once they found out he was Galra.

He was Galra - she hated him - they all hated him - they were going to hurt him - and Allura - Allura - wanted him - to drown - in his own blood- 

 _Please - no - please - I can’t - please - please - just kill me - please - let it end quickly -_ **_please_ ** _-_

Katie’s hands were still on his face, but he didn’t want anyone touching him, not now, not ever, because no one was going to help him, they were just - going to - 

His breathing came harsher, shallower, and his pulse leapt into overdrive. 

Everything pressed in around him, everything was too close, too much, too heavy. 

He couldn't breathe, he couldn’t _breathe_.

 

Allura’s voice, faint and muffled, like she was far away.

“Pidge, he’s - he’s too far gone - you’re - you’re just - making it worse -”

At the sound of the Princess’ voice, Keith froze in terror, feeling his heart begin to pound even faster, unsure of where she was, knowing that if he angered her, she’d hurt him worst of all - she’d let him - die over the course of hours -

Pidge’s voice, sharp and harsh and furious.

“Shut _up_! He’s _terrified_ of you!”

There was another muffled sob, and then…Lance…was saying something about how Keith was scared of all of them, now, and they deserved it, he had every right to be scared of them, they’d all been jackasses - 

Hunk was saying something, something about stress and - seizures - and - and then Katie’s fingers trembled against his skin.

“Keith - Keith - please - try to calm down - you’ll -”

Then there was only pain.

Everywhere. 

He had no control over his body, no control over his movements, and it was terrifying.

He might have screamed, but he didn’t think he could have managed it. 

Someone did, though.

 

 Voices all around him, saying his name, telling him it was all right, begging him to try and look at them, but he couldn’t, he _couldn’t_ , he had no control, none at all, and all he could do was pant unsuccessfully for air as his muscles locked up, as his body begin to jerk and spasm uncontrollably in uncoordinated movements, as time and time again he thought the worst was over, but he was proven wrong.

An endless time later, the muscle spasms ended, and Keith felt like his body was made out of stone, but his mind was adrift, weightless, and he felt dizzy and disoriented, and he couldn’t hear anything.

His ears rang, his head hurt, and he felt so cold. 

He didn't want this mask on his face, he didn’t want this bandage over his eyes. He wanted to go home, he wanted his friends to trust him, he wanted to stop hurting.

_Please…please…please…_

He felt the tears come again, and he tried hard not to let them fall, but it was all too much.

He knew his friends wouldn’t listen, that even if they heard him, they wouldn’t come, but he cried for them all the same. 

In the end, all he could do was beg them not to leave.

“D-don't leave m-me,” he whimpered, and he didn’t know if they heard, or cared, but he asked anyway. 

" _Please_ \- d-don’t leave me. I'm sorry. I'm _s-sorry_. I -"

He didn’t want them to hate him. 

He didn’t want to be alone.

_I'm sorry - I'm sorry - please - please help me - please - it hurts - please - please -_

He begged, he pleaded, he cried for mercy, but the pain didn't fade until an eternity later. 

 

When it did, it was only enough where he realized that there were lights and sounds and whirls of movement near him, but none of it made sense.

He wanted to go home.

He wanted to go _home_. 

He wanted his friends to believe him, to _trust_ him, but…

But they never would, they wouldn’t even _look_ at him now, and Allura…

Allura had _watched_ as Jenick ran him through with a sword. 

She’d stood there and just… _watched_ … 

He’d have died to protect her, to protect any of them, but…

They hated him. 

They _hated_ him.

They’d left him here, alone and in agony, and they were _never_ coming back. 

He had wanted the pain to stop, he had just wanted it to end, but more than anything, he didn’t want to be alone.

He felt another sob wrench its way out of his throat, and he didn’t even try to stop it, or the tears, and he cried for them one last time, but even as he did, he felt the darkness rise up to claim him.

_No one was with him._

_No one wanted him to stay._

_There was nothing to keep him here._

He was so cold. 

He was so tired. 

The darkness beckoned, and he fell into it almost gladly. 

In the darkness, there was peace. 

In the darkness, there was quiet. 

In the darkness, there was relief from pain.

 

 When the monitors signaled the lack of vital life signs, none of the Alteans moved for a full minute. 

“No.” Allura said, her voice cracking in anguish. “No. No, this - this isn’t right - he can’t -”

Hunk let out a sob and tried to shake Keith’s shoulder, but their friend didn’t move or twitch at all. He just lay there, blood covering him like a gory sheet, his face white and pale under the bruises and cuts left by the interrogation, tear tracks glistening on his face under the blindfold.

He’d cried out for them, but he hadn’t known they were right next to him. 

He’d slipped away not knowing they were there. 

He had died thinking he was alone. 

Katie let out a harsh, soundless cry and threw her arms around Keith’s chest. 

“Please,” she said, burying her face in his chest, heedless of the blood, “Please, Keith, don’t do this - please come back - please - I’m sorry I called you a traitor - please - I’m sorry - ”

Lance didn’t move at all. He just stared down at Keith’s still form, then at the red blood covering his own hands. 

He’d tried to stop the bleeding…but…

Keith had just…gone. 

He’d been so _alive_ , so vibrantly _present_ , until…

Until they’d called him a traitor, until…

Lance swallowed at the memory of their last mission together. His stomach churned and he turned towards the wall, certain that at any second, he would throw up.

He couldn’t stand it. 

He couldn’t stand to remember how in a few, sustained moments of contempt, fear, and hate, they’d broken their friend’s will to live. 

_Gods._

_Gods, no._

_Please._

There had to be something, _anything_ , they could do to bring him back. 

_Please._

Lance covered his face with his hands and cried. 

 

Katie was still crying into Keith’s chest, still telling him that she was sorry, that she took back every last thing she’d said to him, that she’d give her own heart’s blood to wake him up -

“Keith, I swear, if there’s any price, I’ll pay it - I’ll pay it ten times over - please - please wake up - _please_ -”

Hunk was still shaking Keith’s shoulder, in a vain attempt to wake him up, and everyone was crying now.

“I never should have told him to shut up,” Hunk said, and he made no attempt to cover the quaver in his voice. “I never - I never should have done that - I - I was - I was such a bully - I hurt him, I hurt him, and he was _scared_ of me - oh God - ”

When she spoke, Allura’s voice was a dull, colorless echo of what it usually was. 

“I - I - I _let_ him die in front of me - he -”

She buried her face in her hands and her shoulders racked with sobs. 

“I could have stopped it from happening - but - but instead - I just - ”

Her body shook, and she choked out, “ - I - I’ll - never - forgive myself - I’ll never - never forget - the look in his eyes - he was - he was so - terrified - of - of dying alone - and in the end - he _was_ \- he _was_ and it’s my fault - it’s _all_ my fault - ”

Lance had sunk onto the ground, curling up into a sad heap, and his face was wet with tears. 

“It’s mine, too, I should have - I should have - done something -”

He began crying so hard his next words were almost impossible to decipher. 

“He thought we hated him - he _died_ thinking we - _hated_ him -”

Still clutching Keith to her, Pidge let out a scream of anguish. It was a sound that ripped through time, and space, and _realities_. 

“ _KEITH_!”

She gripped his face between her hands. They were shaking, and her face was a mess of tears, but she screamed in pain again, forcefully, loud enough to _wake the dead_. 

“ _PLEASE_ \- COME BACK TO US!”

 

 Hunk felt his own breath stop for a second. He wasn’t sure if he’d seen Keith’s chest rise and fall, but - 

Maybe - 

Katie had closed her eyes and pressed her face against Keith’s chest again, and her next words rippled through the room with an almost physical force, even though her voice was muffled now, and quiet. 

“I - I _love_ you, Keith - please - _please_ come back to me - ”

Hunk froze into place. 

The monitor was reading - a pulse - 

Ohmygod -

OHMYGOD -

Hunk grabbed hold of one of Keith’s hands in his own, and he stammered, “Keith, you’re my friend, please, man, come back - I swear I’ll never - ever be a jackass to you again - please - please come back - ”

Another blip on the vitals screen, an almost indistinguishable one - 

Lance leapt to his feet and dashed over to Keith’s other side, grabbing hold of his friend’s other hand. 

“Keith, I’ll never call you mullet-head again, and - and - um - if you like, I’ll never call you any names again - I’ll take a vow of silence - I would - I would do anything to make this up to you - please, please, buddy, come back - please - ”

Another blip on the screen, and then Allura had glanced at the others, but stayed away. 

When Lance looked over at her, she shook her head, still crying. 

“He - he wouldn’t - want - I - I’ve lost his trust - forever - ”

 

Keith’s hand twitched in Lance’s grip, and Lance looked down to see that the bandage over Keith's eyes had slipped, and one of Keith’s eyes had slit open, just a little. 

“‘’llura…?” he asked, and Lance leaned down, his face right next to Keith. 

“What is it, Keith, what is it, do you want something?”

Keith’s eye slid shut again, and he seemed to sag back against the bed in…sadness?

Lance made frantic ‘get over here’ gestures to his sister, and she came to stand by him, hesitantly. 

“Tell him you’re here,” Lance said, and when she still hesitated, her younger brother nudged her sharply in the side with his elbow. 

“…Keith…?” she asked, very softly, very uncertainly. “I’m…I’m here….”

Keith’s eye slit open again, and he seemed to see her. 

“…thought…” 

He halted, his face twisting in pain, and Katie smoothed the hair out of his face, and bit her lip when he instinctively flinched away from the touch. 

“…thought…you…h-hated…m…”

His eye slid shut again, and Allura acted on instinct. She reached down and touched the same hand Lance held, very carefully, very softly, and said, with absolute conviction.

“ _Never_.”

Keith didn’t open his eyes, but the lines in his face relaxed, if only slightly.

“…oh…”

Then his face twisted again in pain, and Katie let out a sob and asked him what hurt, what hurt so she could fix it, and he looked over at her.

“…chest…I…can’t…”

His eyes flew wide open again, and his entire body stiffened. Katie leapt off him with a stifled shriek of panic, and they all gathered in close as he went into another seizure, telling him that it was going to be fine, that they were all right there. 

His teeth snapped shut, his eyes rolled back into his head, and his head jerked from side to side as his muscles tensed, time and time again, and he let out a cry of agony that was no less horrible for being faint.

As blood bubbled up again from the corner of his mouth, Katie started yelling at the med-techs to do something, **_now_** , _dammit_ , and then the team of med-techs were pushing the other Paladins away from the bed, and Keith was trying to say something to them - no - to her -

Katie kept hold of his hand as long as she could, but then she was pulled away from him, and she screamed as the blood from his mouth dripped and splattered onto the floor as he tried to say something. 

She thought she heard him say her name, just before his jaw clenched shut again and another spasm of shaking overcame him. 

 

He was crying again, tears running down his face as he tried to catch his breath, and it was all she could do not to race back to his side, rip that fucking mask off, and do whatever she could to heal him, right here, right now.

She covered her face with her hands when his eyes went cloudy in confusion once more, when he begged them to help him, that he wasn’t a spy, he wasn’t, he hadn’t known - he hadn’t known - _please-_

He fought against the restraints, against the mask, against the med-techs, but it was out of fear and confusion. It was a desperate, frantic attempt that was doomed to failure.

_Please - I swear - please - please - I swear - I swear -_

A voice from the doorway, low, but cold. 

“He’s a tough one to kill, isn't he?”

Katie whirled around, saw Jenick’s smiling face, and leapt at him, fingernails out and curled like claws. 

“ _YOU_ DID THIS TO HIM!”

It was only because Hunk grabbed hold of her that she didn’t put out the Inquistor’s eyes. 

Jenick quirked an eyebrow. 

“As I recall, he’s more frightened of _you_ than he is of _me_.”

Even as Jenick spoke, Keith’s voice caught in his throat, and he rasped desperately for air. 

Katie threw herself out of Hunk’s grip and raced back towards the bed, but Keith didn’t know where he was, or who was nearby. 

His eyes were still rolled back up into his head, and he didn’t seem to hear anyone’s voice. 

“Please,” he sobbed, between frantic gasps for air, “- please - please don’t hurt them - please - I swear - I’ll do anything - you can take me instead - please - _please_ \- ”

Everyone in the room went silent, even Jenick. 

Keith went on, still trying to get enough air, and it was physically painful to watch him struggle. 

“- I can’t - I can’t - lose them too - please - _please_ \- don’t hurt them - _don’t hurt them_ \- ”

The med-tech looked up, his face pale. 

“This is…this is something recent,” he said. “It’s a recent memory. He’s…”

Keith’s eyes flew open, and he stared slightlessly up at the ceiling, his face chalk-white with terror, and he screamed so loudly that everyone nearby jumped in surprise.

“ ** _NO_**!”

He threw himself against the restraints, snarling, and then the wound in his stomach stopped him cold. 

He screamed in pain, thrashing, and begging someone to -

Wait. 

What was that about his team?

 

As it turned out, Keith hadn’t been a traitor. 

When he’d been on Kereberos, he’d been taken by the Galra, and they’d tried to implant a program into his brain. 

_Operation Phoenix._

He was to destroy his team, and Alfor, and anyone who resisted the efforts of the Galra Empire to regain their lost territory. 

But instead, he’d broken free, and returned to Altea without any conscious knowledge of the program embedded in his mind. 

Alfor had been killed, but Keith hadn’t been the one to do it. 

All the same, he’d realized something was wrong when he couldn’t remember where he’d been at the time of the assassination.

When he’d learned of his embedded programming on the deserted Galra base, he’d intentionally scanned his DNA into the system, and wiped his mind of doing so.

He’d planned on the team discovering his full heritage and…

And putting an end to him. 

He’d tried to protect them, in the only way he thought he could.

 

Katie sobbed as she watched the med-techs undo the programming. 

It was an agonizing process, but it had to be done without delay.

Keith tried to break free multiple times, screaming that his friends were in danger, that he had to get them out, he _had_ to - 

But they didn’t let him get free, and when he’d exhausted himself once more, he just lay there and cried. 

He cried out for her, for the others, and all the while, he begged them to _believe_ him, that he wasn’t a spy, he wasn’t, he would never hurt them, _never_ - 

They tried to reassure him, each in their own different ways. Allura told him he was brave, Lance had said that he’d never seen anyone so good at sword fighting as Keith, Hunk promised to make Keith his favorite foods when he was feeling better, and Katie had held his hand and promised to make the coolest upgrades to his armor that ten thousand years of the Altean homeworld had ever seen.

But he was too far gone to hear their replies, and he had three more seizures before the medicines helped bring his blood pressure down. 

Each time, his screams became fainter, his breathing more labored, until finally his voice cracked and broke completely.

Eventually, he succumbed to the fear, and his entire body trembled as he cried quietly, steadily, harsh sobs making their way through gritted teeth.

After a time, he lay still and silent, pale as a sheet, still covered in blood, and breathing in harsh, painful gasps. 

When Katie tried to brush the hair out of his eyes, he whimpered and drew back, tensing his shoulders and starting to tremble. 

Katie took her hand back as if she’d been burned, but Keith still shook in fear, trying to make himself as small as possible. 

“…please…” he said, and it was such a tiny, hopeless sound, it broke Katie’s heart to hear it. 

“…please…Katie…please…I’m sorry…I…I tried…I tried…I’m…s-sorry…”

His wound was an awful one, but if he made it through the night, there was a good chance he’d pull through. 

No one slept that night. 

 

When it became merely agonizing, Keith managed to open his eyes long enough to see that he was in a healing chamber.

An age after that, he remembered to look down towards the gaping wound in his stomach and saw four pairs of hands pressing down on a bloody heap of bandages. 

Right before he fell into the healing coma, he saw who was standing there. 

It was all four of his friends, and Allura…

Allura’s royal cape was missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading <3 And please know that I welcome comments, especially ones where you share which parts made you cry the hardest, or want to reach through the screen and slap someone upside the head. ;-) 
> 
> This piece in particular was sort of challenge to myself, to just go 'all-out' and not be afraid to post a work that's really different than what I usually post on AO3. 
> 
> So, yeah, I'd love to hear if you liked it. ;-) It's one of the things that really helps me remain encouraged as a writer. <3


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